Her Version vs My (Correct) Version

CAITLYN SAYS:  She didn’t have a say as to what house we rented for our weekend in Niagara.

TRUTH:  As a group, it was decided an AirBnB would make more sense than a hotel.  I then researched dozens of options.  I took her suggested home and 3 of the ones that I thought would be good candidates and created a Facebook voting poll for our group message thread.  The others ladies, myself, AND Caitlyn unanimously voted for the house we all liked the best based on price, number of beds, and location.

 

CAITLYN SAYS:  Any time she suggested an activity, she was brushed aside and no one listened to her.

TRUTH:  Caitlyn thought it would be fun to go to a water park and rent a cabana.  I called the location and got prices and posted the information in our message thread.  Caitlyn mentioned a tribute band playing the night we arrived.  In the message thread, I agreed to the concert while a couple of ladies said that they wouldn’t be there in time, but to go ahead.

 

CAITLYN SAYS:  I changed plans multiple times.  I wanted to go to the haunted house, so we did.  I changed dinner plans in order to have my piercing done.  Again, she didn’t have a say in anything, I just got my way.

TRUTH:  We went downtown as a group when that was not necessary.  I wanted to go to the haunted house and said that A) not everyone had to come and B) I was also willing to cancel that idea.  Caitlyn did not even go to the haunted house.  But she did want to go down to the falls, so we did.

I decided to have my nipple pierced, which was something I had been talking about during the whole planning process of this trip.  I left to go and have this done at 4PM.  I was back by 5PM after going to the grocery store to get soda – for Caitlyn.  I went to have a little nap (as did she!) and when I came out, she was still gone and had told everyone that she didn’t want to go to dinner.

 

CAITLYN SAYS:  She was the one to find the other half of our group while all I did was complain.  She then navigated us through the casino to a restaurant and then out and to the nightclub.

TRUTH:  She found the other half of the group because she is a control freak who was uninterested in waiting for instructions as to where they were.  I waited until we knew where we were going.  And yes, my killer sexy heels were killing my feet as we walked all the way across the planet in the freezing cold at maximum speed.  I don’t know about the casino thing, but ok.  As for the restaurant – SHE DIDN’T WANT DINNER!!  And I specifically said I was not hungry.  So fuck off – she wanted to eat.  We went to the club as a group and I don’t know who was leading.  I was probably whining and complaining the whole way there.  I know I was mad as we passed the club I wanted to go to the in first place.

 

CAITLYN SAYS:  For the first hour at the club, she was the only one dancing.  She was there “for hours” and was assaulted twice before deciding to go home.  She then noticed that this club was close to the AirBnB she had suggested and was mad cause she could have walked back alone instead of needing an uber.

TRUTH:  She was miserable and we all knew it.  The thing is this:  I told her she didn’t have to come because I knew it wasn’t her thing and I was ok with that.  I personally wanted to dance and had said this to the group weeks before we even went on this weekend trip.  Regarding the assaults… that really has nothing to do with me.  First of all, I didn’t even know it had happened.  Secondly, I didn’t want to go to this club.  The club that someone told us that the American guys are particularly aggressive at, but everyone insisted would be fine.  More to that next.  And the AirBnB – well we went over that already.

 

CAITLYN SAYS:  She needed to go and buy clothes she didn’t want or need so that we could go out to the club I was forcing us all to go to.

TRUTH:  Part One:  1.  Months in advance, I inform everyone that I want to go dancing, but if it’s not your thing, no worries, I can go alone.  This is the only thing that I really wanted to do over the weekend, so I was going to go, with or without people.  2.  I put our names on the guest list at Club A.  I tell the group.  3.  The morning we are leaving, I show everyone in the FB thread the dress I am bringing to go out clubbing to.  We drove up together and the entire time we are talking about dancing and getting dressed up.  4.  Saturday morning, I tell everyone that the club sent the dress code.  Caitlyn says that she doesn’t have anything to wear to the club.  She says that she will go to value village and buy something.  5.  She got dressed with everyone, she even let everyone do her hair and makeup.

Part Two:  I picked Club A because no one else cared where we went – until Saturday afternoon, AFTER I went to have my piercing.  I came out of the bathroom and everyone was talking about instead going to Club B because there was no cover charge… even though we were informed the crowd of guys were known for being pushy.  Not my choice, but what the group decided.

 

CAITLYN SAYS:  She messaged the group about going to another club/bar that had food and maybe dancing.  Or we could just all go home.  The 3 of them went home and apparently one of them received a message that the 3 of us were also coming home.  She then ordered pizza and went to the balcony.

TRUTH:  I informed everyone before we left to go to the casino/club that my phone was almost dead.  Stupid, I know, but I forgot to charge it.  Anyway, I did not get that message.  One of the girls I was with didn’t even look at her phone, and the last one just said we should go home.  I agreed because… why the fuck would we leave one club to go to another?

 

CAITLYN SAYS:  I called her and the other two “bitches”.

TRUTH:  Yes.  I said “We came home and these bitches aren’t even here.”  All the lights were off, it was quiet, and I had just been told that they found a different bar.  I was annoyed and very, very drunk.

 

CAITLYN SAYS:  She was pissed but kept a smile on her face the whole time.

TRUTH:  She didn’t talk to anyone, she stayed on her phone, she declined to play the group card game to instead sit alone, she then went to bed without much more than a “Goodnight”.  We knew she was pissed off.

 

CAITLYN SAYS:  We ditched her and abandoned her with no food on Sunday morning.

TRUTH:  This part bugs me so much.  I got up in the morning, still a bit tipsy.  We needed to check out at 11AM.  I started packing my crap when it was mentioned that I could drive back in Car B with my bestie and Allie so that we could get me home a little faster and they could see my daughters before they went for a nap (my BEST friend wanted to see her “nieces” because she’d gotten them gifts and hadn’t seen the girls in a year).  There was also freezing rain in Ottawa, where my bestie and A live, so they wanted to get on the road.  I mentioned this to the other two ladies who drove up with Caitlyn and I, and they didn’t see a problem.  Sara was bunking with Caitlyn and she was going to wake her up, but felt bad.  We all then started bringing our bags and shit downstairs, I got in the car and left.  As for the food – 1.  I bought all of that fucking food.  2.  I know I left the bananas, cause Sara wanted them.  3. SHE’S A FUCKING ADULT.

 

CAITLYN SAYS:  We should have woken her up.

TRUTH:  Maybe.  But since she is my neighbour, pretty much (yep, awkward), I didn’t think we needed to have some long, drawn out goodbye.  And since she doesn’t know my bestie and A overly well, we didn’t think she would care either way.  The other two ladies didn’t think it was a problem to just leave, and neither did we.  5 out of 6 people said it was alright to go home, we really didn’t think that we were doing anything wrong.  She then made a comment about the cleaner being the one to wake her up, but… there were two other people there!  Why would waking her up be my job??

 

CAITLYN SAYS:  I didn’t have the balls to call her on Sunday after she texted me to say she was pissed.

TRUTH:  SHE TEXTED ME FIRST.  I then apologized 3 times and she replied with “Thanks”.  I tried to speak with her many times and was shut out.  It was 3 weeks later when I AGAIN reached out to her to see if she wanted to meet.  I text because no one calls anyone anymore, she wouldn’t have answered anyway, and I am busy and don’t want to call her.  If she can give me the silent treatment then she can deal with me texting instead of calling.

 

 

OK, now that I got that out, I feel a bit better.

Honestly, she twisted every little thing to make it my fault.  My husband says that she was just mad and I was her punching bag, she was “projecting”.  And maybe that is the case, but it’s so totally uncalled for.  I am no one’s punching bag – NO ONE.

I have therapy tomorrow… and I’m fairly certain this will be the thing we chat about for the whole hour.  I’m writing to try and get it all off of my heart and out of my brain.  I have been talking to Cody about it, but I don’t want to burden him either.  He and Caitlyn’s husband are good friends.  So, I’ll talk with my therapist tomorrow and then maybe put most of this to bed.

Hopefully.

 

beanie

 

ps – to clarify the assaults:  A female had “hit on” Caitlyn and felt her up; someone elbowed her in the ribs.

I take sexual assault and violence against women very seriously.  Had Caitlyn told me what happened, of course I would have been there to assist, report, whatever needed to happen.  But she did not tell me.

And I hate to say it, but… in a packed club, people get elbowed.  Generally it’s accidental.  Not always, but sometimes.  Once again, had I known, I would have done what I could to help!

People, Let Me Tell Ya ‘Bout My Best Friend

A lot of people say that their best friend is their significant other. A lot of people don’t believe that can be true. A lot of people don’t think that having your spouse as your best friend is particularly healthy.

Fuck em.

Cody is my best friend. I do have a female best friend who I’ve known since I was 4 years old. I am close with her – we have matching foot tattoos, for crying out loud! – but Cody and I are more. Obviously, right? Well, it goes beyond the fact that we sleep together and have sex. He really is my best friend.

People rarely see one of us without the other. When they do, there’s always someone asking where the other is. Cody and I spend all of our spare time together. Even in the house, we are not usually even in separate rooms. We watch all of the same TV shows and movies, so “quiet time” is even together. We hold hands all of the time, we have stupid nicknames for each other, and we often get in bed and talk for a while before falling asleep. Even as I write this, it’s sickeningly cute and bordering on unhealthy. But we honestly just like each other. We enjoy spending time together, doing whatever.

In fact, if I didn’t know, I wouldn’t believe that we’ve been together for almost 7 years.

Over these 7 years things have been far from perfect. Our fights are loud and huge. I’ve thrown a thing or two and he’s done his fair share of being mean. But when we analyze what the fight was and what the real reason(s) for getting upset were, they are far from relationship-ending problems. One fight (that went on and on for months) was about Cody’s bachelor party. Fights after that have mostly been about family issues. We just don’t have significant problems in our relationship – and it’s great.

Since the day Cody and I met, he’s been trying to sweep me off my feet. I’m chunky, so literally doing it is difficult.

Cody showed up on our second date with a tent in his car. Why? Because I’d mentioned that I enjoyed camping and he wanted to show me that he wanted to eventually go camping with me.

On a date a little after that, I responded to getting together that weekend with “Plan a vacation!”. I was joking, but sure enough, he did it. I travelled to Toronto that weekend (I was living about 20 minutes outside of Toronto). He met me at the train, took me to dinner and he’d rented a hotel room. In the room, I found a bouquet of pink lillies and a (melting) tub of my favorite ice cream. He confessed that he remembered pink lillies were my favorite, but he didn’t know what they were – so he asked a florist. The next day, we went on a tour around the city and then for a picnic. All because I told him I’d never actually been into Toronto.

For our engagement, Cody snuck a suit out of the house. He went for a haircut that day (he hates getting his hair cut almost as much as I do), somehow got dressed into his suit while in our car, came up to our condo and knocked on the door. When I opened the door, he was on one knee with a bouquet of pink lillies and a ring box with the most beautiful ring. He forgot to actually propose, but I cried anyway.

One year we went dog sledding for my birthday. Last year I got a sewing machine for Christmas. He even sat through a Dixie Chicks concert. He does these great, wonderful things just to make me smile.

And now for the latest surprise – I received a book from Cody yesterday. Actually, it was a travel guide. He actually planned a trip without me knowing. We’re going to Iceland in February! Why? Because I’m turning 30 in February. And he wants to make it my best birthday ever.

I count myself lucky every single day. I only hope Cody knows I love him as much as he loves me.

beanie