I went, I cried, she listened, I already feel better. Or at least like I will feel better in the near future.
The doctor validated me. When she asked how old the girls were, she actually smiled a mind said “oh, 16 months. That’s hard. They are into everything and you don’t have time to sit.”
When she asked if I had help and I told her no, I do this on my own 90% of the time, she asked about my in-laws. I told her that we don’t have a great relationship and she said “I can see why you might not want to leave the girls with them. Been there, done that.”
When I confessed that I stopped my meds, she nodded when I told her it was just another thing to worry about and I didn’t have the energy to do it. She followed up with “Well, it would be a good idea to start again… Because maybe you won’t feel the need to beat yourself up about another thing.”
She just got it. She was helpful, compassionate, understanding, and professional.
I’m going for blood work to check my iron, b12, thyroid, and sugars. We will go from there, with respects to handling any of those issues.
I’m starting low dose of Cipralex. I’ll be following up with the doc to see how it’s going in about 3 weeks. She’s also recommended that I see a therapist. “Talk therapy” and medication works very well when you use them together. Another reason is that I have major guilt and difficulty with taking time for me, so she thinks it would be beneficial to work on that.
I’m very happy with how today went. I’m looking forward to feeling better. I’m looking forward to sleeping. I’m looking forward to feeling like I can handle things again… I’m looking forward to not losing my shit on Cody for every little thing.
Thanks for the support, friends.