I just lost it. Like, flipped the fuck out, yelled, and cussed someone out. Surprisingly, it was not my husband. This time I freaked out on my little brother.
Apparently his “wife” “might” be pregnant. I know what you’re thinking: and yes, there are a lot of quotations.
“Wife” – it’s not legal. They hired a minister, they invited some people, but they didn’t sign a marriage license BECAUSE THEY DIDNT REMEMBER TO GET ONE IN TIME.
“Might” – he doesn’t know. She didn’t take a pregnancy test, she went to the doctor and they needed to send her results away…??? She got a call from them and my brother said he didn’t care why they called and thought it was weird they changed her appointment from a physical to a “prenup”. Yes, people, I had to correct him and tell him it was a mother effing PRENATAL.
I asked him if she is still smoking: yes.
And then I lost it.
Here’s a list of reasons they shouldn’t be having kids:
- Neither of them have jobs. My brother is on disability because he has UNCONTROLLED grand mal seizures. Her, I have no fucking clue.
- They live in a house with at least 5 other people they don’t get along with
- THEY HAVE BED BUGS. Enough that they come out into the lightand you can see them on the walls. Do you think an infant should be exposed to that?!
- She has two children already. However, she’s been proven unfit to care for them. Even if she’s changed and could care for this new baby, she obviously doesn’t seem to give a Damn about the other two cause she isn’t trying to get custody….
- They can’t pay their hydro. They can’t buy groceries. They can’t even buy a pregnancy test from the DOLLAR STORE. Obviously, she isn’t taking any prenatal vitamins.
- My brother has a very bad temper. I won’t elaborate on that
So I got mad at my brother. I gave him this list of reasons why they shouldn’t have been so stupid. I hung up and I cried.
Cause Cody and I want to have more babies. And Cody and I probably cant. I made lifestyle changes BEFORE getting pregnant, we were financially secure prior to getting pregnant (still are). We have a clean house, food, and an abundance of love. And still, we had to struggle, miscarry, and struggle some more before we were blessed with Apple and Banana.
It’s not fair. I know that is so juvenile, but it is.
Infertility still hurts. I may have two amazing little girls, but I haven’t forgotten what it took to conceive them, grow them, and finally, FINALLY bring them home.
I never will.
My scars are deep.