Scarred

I just lost it.  Like, flipped the fuck out, yelled, and cussed someone out.  Surprisingly, it was not my husband.  This time I freaked out on my little brother.  

Apparently his “wife” “might” be pregnant.  I know what you’re thinking: and yes, there are a lot of quotations.

“Wife” – it’s not legal.  They hired a minister, they invited some people, but they didn’t sign a marriage license BECAUSE THEY DIDNT REMEMBER TO GET ONE IN TIME.  

“Might” – he doesn’t know.  She didn’t take a pregnancy test, she went to the doctor and they needed to send her results away…???  She got a call from them and my brother said he didn’t care why they called and thought it was weird they changed her appointment from a physical to a “prenup”.  Yes, people, I had to correct him and tell him it was a mother effing PRENATAL.

I asked him if she is still smoking: yes.  

And then I lost it.  

Here’s a list of reasons they shouldn’t be having kids:

  • Neither of them have jobs.  My brother is on disability because he has UNCONTROLLED grand mal seizures.  Her, I have no fucking clue.
  • They live in a house with at least 5 other people they don’t get along with
  • THEY HAVE BED BUGS.  Enough that they come out into the lightand you can see them on the walls.  Do you think an infant should be exposed to that?!
  • She has two children already.  However, she’s been proven unfit to care for them.  Even if she’s changed and could care for this new baby, she obviously doesn’t seem to give a Damn about the other two cause she isn’t trying to get custody…. 
  • They can’t pay their hydro.  They can’t buy groceries.  They can’t even buy a pregnancy test from the DOLLAR STORE.  Obviously, she isn’t taking any prenatal vitamins.  
  • My brother has a very bad temper.  I won’t elaborate on that 

So I got mad at my brother.  I gave him this list of reasons why they shouldn’t have been so stupid.  I hung up and I cried.  

Cause Cody and I want to have more babies.  And Cody and I probably cant.  I made lifestyle changes BEFORE getting pregnant, we were financially secure prior to getting pregnant (still are).  We have a clean house, food, and an abundance of love.  And still, we had to struggle, miscarry, and struggle some more before we were blessed with Apple and Banana.  

It’s not fair.  I know that is so juvenile, but it is.  

Infertility still hurts.  I may have two amazing little girls, but I haven’t forgotten what it took to conceive them, grow them, and finally, FINALLY bring them home.  

I never will.  

My scars are deep.

beanie

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Just. Eat. It.

Raising my twins has been an amazing journey this far.  Both girls are walking.  One is saying quite a few words, while the other one finds louder, more aggressive ways to get her points across.  There have been more good times than bad; there’s been a lot of tears, cuddles, smiles, laughter.  But let’s be real.  It’s frustrating as all hell sometimes.

For my household, food time is especially trying.  My kids only want to eat fruit and cheerios.  I’m over it, their father is over, and they too, apparently, are over it.  Yesterday I made two lunches and they didn’t fully eat either meal.  It made me cry.  Literally had me in tears.  But that’s another post for another day.

And so, for your amusement and mine, please enjoy the following videos.

Video #1

Video #2

Video #3

 

Happy eating,

 

beanie

Shhhhhhh

Mommy’s hung over today.  Screw you, Skinny Girl ready-to-drink Margarita.  Why were you so easy to drink?  

My girls are awake and I’m afraid to go downstairs and join them and my husband.  My head hurts and they have been whining for the last week…. NON STOP until bedtime, which is the reason I got the bottle of SK in the first place.  I love my girls more than anything, ever.  But I’ve been stressed for a while And looking forward to my husband being off for a week.  Ugh and I just remembered we are going to my in-laws today and that’s an hour drive and suddenly the babies think their car seats are some type of torture device.  

BUT I’m letting someone else deal with their constant whining today.  I’m going to sit in Starbucks with a whip cream topped drink and a book while I wait for my husband to get through a union meeting.  We are then going to go to lunch and a movie.  My in-laws are making supper which my girls can throw on the floor and clean up instead of me.  

Mommy’s hung over today.  But Mommy is getting a break today, too.