Awesome Possum

So, I’ve never been an overly social person.  I like to stay at home, hanging out with my husband and babies.  I like day trips, and adventures, but enjoy being at home more. 

I don’t like entertaining guests for very long.  A night, maybe two, and then I’m ready to have my home back.  

I always think I like to throw parties for my core group of friends, but without doubt, I always end up getting anxious and nervous.  I don’t relax, and I’m always trying to impress, even the people I’ve known 100 years.  My house has to be immaculate, I need to have way too much food, and there ALWAYS has to be something on the table that I made from scratch.  You could see why I haven’t thrown a party in my home since the girls were born!  

Lately I’ve been feeling like I need to start taking time for me.  I need to get out, see faces of people other than my family.  My husband and daughters still have my favorite faces, though.  I had to convince myself that going out was GOOD for me and I was not neglecting my duties as their mama.  Cause that’s the weird thing…. In my head, it’s felt like it I am not doing something for my girls, or my husband, or my house, then I was being selfish.  

Anyway, I’m a member of a local group for parents with twins, triplets, or more.  They were having a ladies night get-together, and I tentativley RSVP’d that I would go.  Next thing I know, it’s last night and I’m trying to convince myself not to go.  Or to go, I don’t know.  My husband thought I should go, our friend Grace said i should go, my bestie, encouraged me as well.  

Holy mother of God, it was stressful.  I honestly felt like in was going on a blind date!  I met my husband online, and I think I was less nervous going to meet him for the first time. 

I spent an hour getting ready… I wanted to look nice, but not like I was trying too hard.  I wanted to look like it put time in, but not flaunt the fact that my husband is awesome and watched the girls and did dinner all by himself.  It was friggen hot out, but I’d didn’t want to go sleeveless cause my arms are fat.  I did t think I would be able to contribute to any conversation cause I’m a stay-at-home mom who doesn’t leave the house.  I also was nervous because I hate eating in front of people I don’t know.

As you may be able to tell, I have awful self esteem and confidence.

At one point, I just say down and gave myself a pep talk:

“Beanie, just do it.  Just go.  What is the worst that can happen?  You have an easy out if you need it.  Wear the tank top – it’s hot.  Be proud of your body.  You carry 50 pounds of baby all day with those arms.  Wear makeup if you want to.  You enjoy putting on makup and doing your hair.  You’re not flaunting anything, you’re doing something you like, for yourself.  Eat.  We all eat.  And you’re not giving yourself enough credit, or them. You can talk to them and they will like you.  If they don’t, you never even have to see them again.  BUT JUST TRY.  Cause your girls benefit from seeing YOU like YOU.”

I went.  It was awkward at first, but that eased up.  The group of 7, was big enough that I could sit quietly, but small enough that I felt like I could speak and contribute.  We talked about our kids, we ate, and I went home.

I survived.

And in the first moments, even once I came home, I said I might never go again.  But I changed my tune on that plan as well.  I will go again, i will try to make it to more get-togethers.  I like me, and others do too.  I have to stop selling myself short.

Cause I’m pretty awesome. 

Why I Wish I Co-Slept

There are so many things to consider when you have a kid.  

Do I let him/her/them sleep with me or put them in the crib right away?

Do I breastfeed or bottle feed?

Do I sleep train?

To use pacifiers or not to use pacifiers?

Should I try cloth diapering or just do disposables? 

Ughhhhh and so many more.

For the record, I put my girls in the Their cribs right away, did a combo of breastfeeding and formula feeding until 6 months, I sleep trained the heck out of them, give one a paci, I let them cry it out, and I am filling my fair share of landfills with disposable diapers.  I didn’t plan to do most of those things, but life came along and I went with what worked.  I usually don’t regret any of my choices. 

Until I brought my girls to a hotel for the first time.  And my husband and I realized we needed to sleep.  

I opted to sleep with Banana (she’s so warm and snuggly).  Cody took Apple.  They went to sleep relatively quickly and stayed that way until about 2:30am.  I was having trouble sleeping since Banana and I have never slept the night together… Or maybe once or twice ages ago when she had a cold or something.  So I had a hard time getting comfortable and knowing how to fit with her in the bed.

My point is this.  At 3am, I was wishing I’d co-slept with my girls so that I’d be able to sleep with them now.  It made me a little sad that it was awkward to sleep with my Banana Bear.  

The risks of sleeping with the girls (and the practicality) outweighed the benefits for Cody and I.  I wouldn’t change the decision to have them sleep in their cribs, but at 3am and now that they are 13(!!!) months old, I am a little wishful.

That being said, I just know they are gonna make their way into my bed when they are around the two year mark…. And I’m kind of looking forward to it.


Personal Posts


My last post included photos from Apple and Banana’s cake smash.  If you would like the password to view that post, please email:


Ohhhh the metformin woes.  I hate what this med does to my tummy.

I’ve decided it’s time to start taking care of myself.  Again.  I need to be healthy for myself, but also for my girls and my husband.  So I’ve re-joined Curves, have stopped eating so much fast food, am drinking more water, and…. Started my metformin again.  

When you start a medication like metformin, you’re advised that introducing the medication slowly can help with the unpleasant side effects.  For me, that is not the case.  I still get all of the tummy issues, headaches, and can’t stray too far from home – only it lasts longer than if I were to just jump in and take the correct dosage right off the bat.  So here I am, complaining and feeling like shit because metformin is making my stomach cramp – but wait… Maybe that’s cause I’m also about to get my period.  Good timing, beanie.  

There are many reasons why I want to really give it a go.  I want to not be so tired.  I want to lose weight.  I want my insulin levels to come down. I want to be good examples for my daughters.  I want to try for another baby and maybe not have to go through fertility treatments. I am worried about my husband’s health. 

Cody has put on weight, which I don’t care about, but it’s definitely effecting his life.  His sleep apnea is bad and he has heartburn allllllllll the time.  I fear an ulcer (i mean, seriously.  We are going to buy stock in the Tums company).  And his cholesterol is high.  I have amazing cholesterol, so I don’t always think about foods that are cholesterol-impacting.  Since I am Chef Beanie, he eats what I cook and I am now going to be cooking food that will be good for BOTH of our health.  

As a side note, it’s so ridiculous.  I cook amazingly healthy meals for Apple and Banana, and cook a completely separate unhealthy meal for Cody and myself some nights.  Its not only a waste of time, money, and life, it’s just plain unnecessary. This will stop.  I mean, it’s not that often, mainly because we want them to see that we all eat the same food, but we also don’t want them to become picky eaters who demand their own meals of chicken nuggets and fries, instead of pasta.  

And as another side note, Apple is so bad for food.  She has always been bad for food, but it’s on another level now.  She picks through her food and throws obvious vegetables on the floor.  She hates all veggies!  I chop them, I slice and dice, I do everything short of pureeing them and she still find them and chucks them.  ALL VEGGIES.  I didn’t think the fight would start this early!  I half blame my husband who is incredibly picky and rarely eats veggies.  But Apple has had lunch with me every single day since she started sitting in her high chair, and I eat what she eats most of the time.  So maybe part of this is learned and part of this is just who she is.  There’s a Nature vs Nurture scenario to ponder……


A couple of months ago, I posted a photo of Banana, her eye was red and a bit swollen.  We were worried about cat allergies, but the doctor seemed to think it was probably just dry/irritated skin.

Around Easter, Banana ended up getting RSV, and needed to use a rescue inhaler a few times, as this virus caused her some breathing difficulties.  It cleared fairly quickly, so we were happy about that.

A couple of months ago, my Banana Bear started to wake up on a nightly basis, in the middle of the night, SCREAMING.  I’d run to her room, and at that point I would hold her while she calmed down.  She would cough for about 25 minutes straight, getting phlegm all over my chest.  This went on for a couple of weeks until I couldn’t take it anymore and brought her to the doctor.  We agreed that a cold should have cleared by now, so the ped decided to try my girlie on a low dose steroid puffer.  We took the puffer twice a day, and wouldn’t you know it, the midnight hack attacks stopped!  We were told to stop the puffer and see if she was good without it.

She was not.

After missing the morning dose, Banana had a coughing fit after crawling around and doing a bit of jumping.  That night, she woke up SCREAMING again, and the coughing was so bad that we needed to use the rescue inhaler.  The next morning, I made am emergency appointment with the pediatrician.  Long story semi-shortened, Banana is back on the puffer and we are waiting for an appointment with an allergist.  Looks like she might be allergic to the cats after all.

I’m not THAT mom, guys.  I don’t take the girls to the doctor for every sniffle.  I don’t manifest issues when there are not.  I don’t have Munchausen Syndrome.  But this problem – this has me freaked out.

I don’t want to get rid of the cats.  I don’t like the one cat so much anymore, but the grey one is like another baby to me.  But Banana is my child.  I would die for her, so if that means rehoming our kitties, then That’s what we will do….

But before that, we are going to try the following things:

  • Have the cats groomed regularly, which will involve getting their fur cut/buzzed
  • Seal off Bananas room from the cats
  • Vacuum 2-3 times a week
  • Change sheets 2-3 times a week
  • Wash bedding in super hot water
  • Seal off the bathroom where the cat litter is.  We are going to install a cat door to that bathroom in hopes of keeping the litter confined.  The asshole Orange cat is peeing outside of the litter box as a protest to the girls, so I hope to God that will also put an end to that
  • Vacuum/dust/mop the main floor daily
  • Change the type of filter we are using for the heating/AC system to one that blocks allergens
  • Put an air purifier in Bananas room

Am I missing anything?  

Getting someone to adopt the cats is our last resort.  But keeping Banana on a puffer is not a solution.  

Anyone out there with cat allergies and/or has dealt with a baby with pet allergies?


The More You Know…

I need to confess something.

Until recently, I did not know what a prune was.  I knew there was prune juices, I knew you could buy prune puree.  I thought it was just something for old people and babies… I went on the search for “real” prunes, hoping to give my constipated babies some actual prunes.  I could not find them anywhere, so I did some research…

Prunes are plums.


I wrote this in hopes of bringing a bit of humor to someone’s news feed.  I am so done with reading about hate, and crime, and death.  Yes, current issues in today’s world are important and should be talked about.  But I need a break.  I am figuring some others could as well.  So, I hope my stupidity brings a smile to your face today