Babysitters NOT Wanted

When Cody and I were waiting for our house to finish being built, we lived with a friend.  Turns out I have more in common with this friend, Ryan, than I do with my own husband.  Anyway, last year, Ryan and his girlfriend got engaged and they’re getting married in November.  I want to attend the wedding and support Ryan, but we’re in a bit of a pickle… no kids allowed at the wedding.

Now, I totally get this.  In fact, for our wedding, we made the same call.  We faced a lot of drama because of this decision, but we stuck to it and I don’t regret it one bit.  So, I’m not upset that Ryan and his fiance made the same choice.

What we would do is try to find someone we trust to watch the babies while we go to the ceremony, come home and see the babies, go back for the reception and then come home and relieve the babysitters.  We can’t do this, however, because Ryan and his fiance are getting married about 3 hours away from home….

So we have a problem.  do we……:

A) Go to the wedding and bring the babies on the 3 hour drive to Niagara.  Once there, leave them with Cody’s parents in a hotel room where we can come back between ceremony and reception to see the babes?  After the reception, we can just bring the babies back to our room.

B) Go to the wedding but leave the babies at home with Cody’s parents. We could leave the reception a little early so we are not leaving the babies with Cody’s parents over night?

C) Go to the wedding and stay overnight while Codys parents babysit?

D) Say eff it and skip the wedding?

We floated the idea of Cody’s parents coming with us to Niagara so that they could watch the princesses while we attended the wedding.  Cody’s dad then said no, but he’d love to babysit at their house.  I am not letting that happen. Regardless of what we decide, our kids will only be watched at our house. Last night, Cody told me that his dad saw him at work and presented him with a “counteroffer”.

Hold the phone. These people better know there are no compromises or counteroffers when it comes to my decisions regarding my kids. 

Anyway, I guess my father-in-law and mother-in-law figured out that I wouldn’t want my girls to stay overnight at their house, so he suggested to Cody that they babysit at our house overnight while we went to the wedding and spent the night in Niagara.  As soon as Cody presented this “offer” to me I knew I was not comfortable with this.

It is also unfortunate that there is no one else we could really ask to come with us to Niagara. In addition to only having babysitters at our house, I also require there to be at least one adult per baby. So while I could ask my cousin to watch the girls I still need to find additional person to help her. Let me just throw it out there that I do not trust enough people in my life for this to be able to happen. I may not have the best relationship with my in-laws however, they did keep Cody alive so that says something. I guess….

We have semi-decided that we will RSVP to Ryan that will be attending the wedding. What we are thinking is the best option for us at this point is to have Cody’s parents babysit the girls for the day while we are at the wedding and then leave the reception after dinner and come home so that they are not being babysat overnight.  I am 100% not comfortable with having anybody babysit the girls overnight yet. And I am only about 70% comfortable letting them be babysat for more than five minutes.  Though this is the decision we’ve made for now anything can change… And I’ve made it clear to Cody that if I decide to change my mind two minutes before getting into the car to leave for Niagara, he, nor his parents, are to try and pressure me to go if I really don’t want to. 

Even as I sit here composing this post I’m getting anxiety at the thought of leaving them for even a half an hour.

… Yep, I’m one of those mamas. 

8 thoughts on “Babysitters NOT Wanted

  1. It is so damn hard to leave them.. I wouldn’t leave my girls with the inlaws so I totally get where you are coming from. But it is always very refreshing to have adult time away from the girls with my husband- reminds us we are spouses and not roommates ya know?

  2. I am one of those mamas too. At 16 months no one but me has put him
    To sleep at night. Can’t imagine how he would react it I went out past his bedtime. Part of me is a bit curious. But I would also be very anxious if I were you.

  3. I think your plan is a good compromise. You still get to be at the wedding for the important parts, yet the girls aren’t without you all night. Consider it a trial run. If it doesn’t work out, you know for next time.

  4. I’m sorry this is giving you anxiety. I wish I had some advice, but you really just need to go with your gut on this one. If we had kiddos, I wouldn’t leave them over night with my in-laws either, but I’m lucky enough to have my Mom and Sister close by and I will have absolutely no anxiety about being able to leave the baby with them.

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