The Art of Oversharing

Oversharing is a given when you write and/or read a blog about trying to get pregnant and/or being pregnant. Never did you imagine that you’d talk about heavy flows, your sex positions, or your vagina so much, but there it is. You also probably didn’t think you’d read about these things from virtual strangers either.

I’ve been on this journey to get pregnant since 2008. I finally started to see a reproductive endocrinologist at a fertility clinic in 2012. It was my “infertile” diagnosis that prompted me to start this blog. It’s been over two years of writing my own posts and reading those from others that got me thinking: How much info is too much info? On an almost daily basis, I am shocked (and sometimes grossed out) at the things I’ve read.

0.

1. “Dildo-Cam”.

1.

I don’t know why this bothers me so much. I mean, a trans-vaginal ultrasound is awful. It’s embarrassing, it’s invasive, it takes too long. Dildos imply “fun” to me, since I would associate it with pleasure. Why would we want to put a “cutesy” name to this machine? It’s misleading to me. Not to mention, they now make dildos with cameras on them…

Yes, I know about these. No, I do not have one (I wouldn’t share that with you anyway) – they apparently talked about it on the radio, which was then relayed to me, and I am now telling you. Yes, in Canada we talk about dildos on the radio.

When I was looking for a picture of this said toy, the first thing that popped up was porn. The second thing was “Used Dildo Camera for sale”. Of all the things to buy second hand….. ick.

2. Your cervix.

I do not know what my cervix looks like. I do not know what my cervix feels like. I can honestly say that I’ve never gone rooting around in my vag, trying to find my cervix in an effort to know if it is opened or closed. However, after reading about so many of your cervix’s, I got curious one day and googled what it looked/felt like.

Apparently, it looks like the baby Alien Chestburster.

2.

This is terrifying and has kept my fingers where they belong.

3. Your sex life.

Some people will use terms like “pollinate my flower” when talking about sex. Some make it clinical and say “have sex/intercourse”. Some give the details about the time, length of session, positioning, and quality of orgasm.

3.

I just don’t need to know.

4. Cervical mucous.

There are really people out there who scoop up their mucous on their FINGER (some use toilet paper) and POST THIS ON THE INTERNET.

4.

Don’t google it.

5. Pregnancy tests.

5.

I don’t really have a big problem with this. I mean, I’ve taken hundreds of tests over the years! I get why people post the pictures – there’s nothing worse than kinda seeing a line, but not sure if it’s real or not. I mostly have a problem with the people who comment on the photos, so sure that there is a line. There’s being positive and then there’s giving false hope.


6. Your vagina.

How is it so easy to talk about the appearance of your lady bits? Or what comes out of it? Or what goes into it?

66

7. Your bowel movements.

Constipation is real. It’s painful and embarrassing. I get that we need to relate to each other, but talking about your feces in detail makes me weirded out. But you know what, it’s not just TTCers. My BFF talks to me about her poop all the time.

7.

Better get used to it, beanie. Two kids in less than 2 months – there’s gonna be a lot of shit talk.

8. Your nipples.

8.

Much like your vagina, I think the details of the size, color, and orientation could be left to our imagination. I find it very weird to be forming a picture of what your breasts look like when I don’t even know what your face looks like…. or what your name is.

9. Your period.

I’ve done this. We’ve all done this. However, I don’t want to somehow come across a picture of a bloody pad or tampon on the internet! This is too far, people. TOO. FAR.

9.

10. Your weight.

You probably look fine. If you’re pregnant, you probably look fine – and hey, guess what? You’re supposed to gain weight! Every time we focus on outward appearance, this makes it ok to have others focus on our outward appearance. Next thing you know, our daughters and wearing makeup, straightening their hair, and dieting when they’re 11 years old thanks to media and our inability to look beyond a belly roll.

10

Of course, being healthy conscious is one thing. Obsession is another.

We all have different pain thresholds. Yours could be stronger than mine, but I could be stronger than “Betty”*. I think the same goes with my gag reflex. Many of the culprits on my list could be NOTHING to you, but they do weird me out a little. Please don’t think I’m talking about YOU (in case you have written about any of the above), I know I am not innocent of some of these. This is all a joke, anyway, not meant to be taken seriously and DEFINITLY not meant to offend anyone.

That being said – we, as a group, apparently have no shame.  And I love you all.

11
beanie

*Betty is not a real person. I mean, there are real people named Betty, but I don’t know her and I am not shit talking her.

** Also, all images were found on Google, after much trial and error.  Oh, the things I’ve seen.

28 thoughts on “The Art of Oversharing

      1. Chestburster is EXACTLY how I describe what movement feels like to my husband. Especially when I can see it from the outside.

      2. I don’t even know how I could describe movement. It’s weird sometimes, uncomfortable a lot of the time, but I like it.

        Maybe I would deceive it like the tequila worm the guy eats/drinks in Poltergeist lol

  1. I agree with you on ALL of these. When i first started blogging I talked about our sex life a little more than I ever felt comfortable with, so i basically just stopped. Also, I don’t thinK i’ve ever fully identified what my cervix feels like, even though I ahve tried in TTC desperation.

    I do talk about my weight too much though….

    1. Lol, I talk about some of this stuff. But there are things that are off limits for me – like my bodily fluids in detail.

      I wouldn’t feel bad about talking about your weight, we all do. I’m just scared of doing it too much and making my girlies self conscious, should they be pudgy like me.

      1. Oh, I hear ya on that. My step mother was AWFUL about criticizing my appearance. I refuse to do this with Apple and Banana.

  2. I went a little mental with my response, but it just shows how much I liked your post 🙂

    1. I have found your post very educational. I had never heard of Dildo-Cam, I had no clue this was a thing, I have even less clue what use one would be used for (and I don’t need to know).

    2. I really like the Alien franchise… I shall never think about my cervix the same way again. I have never gone rooting for it either and now for fear of my fingertips I never shall 🙂 

    3. “Pollinate my flower” HAHAHAHA That is awesome! Personally Hubby and I call it “Super-mega-fun-happy-time” hehehe. I have not read posts like this thankfully.

    4. Oh. My. God. Gross! Seriously?! What are they posting that on there for? Are we supposed to rate it out of 10? “By jove, that is some mighty fine looking mucus you have there, congratulations. Please accept my hearty handshake as an award for your oh so sticky and plentiful mucus”??? I mean seriously! The internet is a dark and scary place. One day (WARNING: TMI) I was googling solutions for period related back pain that wouldn’t mean I would have to leave the house (I was out of Advil)… accidentally came across a website which was full of pictures and stories about AF… WTF people?!

    5. I’m not really too worried about the pics either. Someone I know wrapped theirs and gave it to their parents to announce they were pregnant… I wasn’t too down with that because well… she had peed on it LOL. Take a pic and give that to them or maybe make a nice card or go nuts with a PowerPoint Presentation if you must, but please don’t hand me something you peed on hahaha.

    6. I’m not going to lie… I did a whole post about thrush… a WHOLE post. I did take a humorous view on it – well as humorous as thrush can be really. In my defence it is one of my most viewed and commented on posts hahaha.
    Also, I laughed so hard at the picture you had for this!

    7. I prophesize that in a couple of months we are going to have a poo post from you :)
    I’m not too worried about poo stuff, I have seen some serious nappy destroyers come out of my nieces and nephews and I have had a kid puke down my cleavage on Christmas Eve at a packed restaurant and managed to pull through the meal by washing the front of the dress and myself in the washroom and making great use of the hand dryer… poo is nothing LOL.

    8. I agree, I really don’t think there is a need to be describing any of you private ladies parts… there is a reason they were called “private”. If you are going to go into great description you might as well post a photo and get it over with.

    9. Please see response to 4. Again, I love the cartoon! 

    10. Hey… where’d you find my picture? You stalker 🙂

    1. LOL I love your replies!!

      Getting most of those pictures involved googling some terms that meant something I didn’t even know… people are gross lol

      As for #4 – never, never, NEVER google “egg-white-cervical-mucous”. I didn’t know what this was when I started this whole infertility thing and curiosity (again) got the best of me. It’s not pretty, my friend. It is not worth investigating….

      And if that pic is you, your have awesome curves 😉

      1. Thanks! I loved the post 🙂
        Dammit, now I am curious. Don’t worry I won’t do it. Even though I don’t know what it means.
        Hahaha if it is I don’t remember posing for it, but I definitely have some serious child bearing hips. She is a beautiful girl whoever she is 🙂

    1. Um, the first time I accidentally saw a picture of someone’s CM, I gagged. No joke. There are SOME things that don’t belong on the internet!!

  3. Lol. In good news, my mom recently had a haemorrhoid op and my granny struggling with incontinence requiring help in never ever thought I would be involved in and it was strangely absolutely fine… Bodies and their messy functioning have become so blasé to me!

    1. Most bodily fluids just gross me right out. Actually, all bodily fluids do. I don’t even like kissing because of saliva!

      And there’s my overshare 😉

  4. Haha! I did post about some symptoms but hopefully it was in a humorous way rather than sharing actual pictures. I mean, I did share a pictures of Jabba the Hutt, if that counts…

    I don’t fathom at all why people post pictures of actual bodily fluids online though! 🙂 And I never heard of the whatsitcam until I came on here!

    I think I just have a low curiosity level so I don’t seem to google enough to find these things! 🙂

    1. LOL, I FORGOT SYMPTOMS.

      Just kidding 😉 I actually thought your Jabba the Hutt pic was pretty funny, though I am sure you’re not that green…

    2. Also, I am waaay too curious for my own good. It’s how I can say that I’ve actually seen “two girls one cup” – because I just HAD to know. DON’T GOOGLE THAT EITHER.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s