4AM Happiness

This is just going to be a generic update for you guys. Actually, this is the second time I’m typing this cause my coordination sucks, or my brain doesn’t work, or something cause I managed to close what I was working on without saving. Why doesn’t WP just auto-save when you start a post?!

Anyway, I am working on another post (in my head) and I hope for that one to be a little more fluid and entertaining.

My Husband:
Oh, my Cody. How I love this man. A friend of mine posted this on FB:

Healthy doesn’t have to be boring. Kale salad with a sprinkle of sunflower seeds, cranberries and homemade berry dressing (evo, fresh lemon juice/zest, fresh garlic and really ripe raspberries and strawberries). Yummy

My husband’s response:

I’ve determined that good food doesn’t need so many words. Watch: “Cheeseburger”; “Gravy”; “Chicken Wings”. The more words you use to describe what you’re eating just goes to show how hard you’re trying to convince yourself and everyone else that it’s not as bad as it looks.

This man won my heart in 2007 and he continues to win me over with logic like this.

Apple and Banana:
I reached 28 weeks yesterday! In this time, I’ve been to L&D twice, both times just as precaution. I am happy to say that these babies are growing very, very well.

Apple is the sleepier baby. During the day, she is usually quite quiet. However, when mama wants to go to bed or when it’s time to kiss Cody goodbye at 4AM, Apple decides to throw a party! As of last week, Apple is in head down position and is weighing approximately 2 pounds.

Banana is the hyper baby. All day long, my ribs get a beating from this little chicken. She is so strong that my entire tummy moves when she gets going. She’s also a bit of a bully with me, and will kick and squirm as hard as she can if she doesn’t like the way I’m sitting. As of last week, Banana is now breech and weighs approximately 2 pounds 5 ounces.

Both little babies love to interact with me. They love when I go for baths; they love when I talk to them; they love my singing; they love when my hands are on my belly. They love the sound of Cody’s voice, but if he puts his hands on my belly, they stop kicking. They do this for anyone touching my tummy! I don’t know if they really know it’s someone else, or if it’s just coincidence. Cody seems a little insulted sometimes, but they do give him some bumps if he’s patient with them. Once they get going, it’s non-stop, that’s for sure.

Both babies love music. If you really want to get them going, all that’s needed is….OL’ DIRTY BASTARD.  Yup. Both my girls love gangster rap.

COMPLETE! Well, Cody is finishing up the changing table, but then it’s finished!

This is an older photo. Tags are removed from the blankets. There are actually mattresses and sheets in the cribs. There are two mobiles and they are on the wall side instead.
This is an older photo. Tags are removed from the blankets. There are actually mattresses and sheets in the cribs. There are two mobiles and they are on the wall side instead.

This picture doesn’t show the other side of the room, but there’s a couch and table, eventually a change table will be there as well.

The closet is SUPER organized and there are clothes hanging in order of Preemie/NB, 0-3 mos, 3 mos. They are categorized by style as well: outfits, sleepers, onesies. I’m sure this won’t last for long.

We do need to get a shelf for the living room (we intend on keeping half of the diapers and half of their onesies downstairs), but we’re looking pretty good!

Baby Preparation:
We’re looking pretty good. We are registered for our diaper service. We opted to do this because it makes a lot of sense FOR US.
1. It’s a pain in the ass to try and figure out how many cloth diapers we’d need for both girls. The diaper service gives us unlimited quantity each week.
2. My girls are likely to be smaller, which means they will need preemie diapers, then change into the newborns, then the next size, etc. Putting the money (and effort) into figuring this out, makes no sense. We start with the smallest size and when one (or both) are ready to move up a size, we just let the company know. Easy peasy.
3. Laundry sucks. I don’t have to add diapers to the mix – sweet!
4. I’m not going to dive into the debate about the environment. There are pros and cons to each side. And even if you see the pros in one or the other, it might not be applicable to you and your situation. For us, we do intend to use disposables, as needed, and don’t feel guilty.
5. Last but not least, I don’t want to be changing diapers for 4 years. I want them out as quickly as possible and cloth diapers help with this.

We have the essentials for the girls. However, we do still need a breast pump and more bottles. We are prepared for this, but we’re buying from a specific store in order to get the most from our purchase. The Medela pump is the one we’re buying, and it’s NEVER discounted. Here’s the plan though… the drug store we’re buying from offers points based on the amount you spend. Occasionally, they run a promo where you can get 20x the points….

Breast Pump Cost: $449.00
Regular Points Earned: 4490 = approximately $60 value
Bonus Points Earned: 89800 = approximately $170 value!
If we get the extra points, we can buy more baby supplies without actually spending money. So why wouldn’t we?!

This is more a joke than anything, but while at a baby show over the weekend, we found something I’ve been DYING to get for the girls to come home in:


I have their little dresses planned out, and now the perfect bows to put on their heads. We will also be bringing some sleepers in case the dresses are too big, but the bows will make those outfits POP!
Now, had I known how expensive they ended up being, I wouldn’t have gotten them. I did, however, figure out how to make some bows myself, for 1/10 of the cost, so guess who’s going to be busy? BOWS EVERY DAY!
We also bought some books for the babies, some diaper covers, and other essentials. But the bows are fun.

How I’m Feeling:
Good! I mean, I could complain about this or that, but I just don’t want to. I’m tired, my pelvis is killing me, I can’t breathe right, wah wah wah. Seriously though – I just don’t want to! I’ve waited so long for this. I’ve worked so hard for this! Nothing I am currently dealing with is enough for me actually sit and complain about it. Is everything always pleasant? No. But it’s 100% worth it. This is probably my only pregnancy… I’m going to love every freaking second of it.

My In-laws:
SURPRISE! Things are going relatively well!! They are throwing me a shower over the weekend (which I’m super nervous about), but I’ve decided that I need to just move on. Yes, they annoy me. Yes, they can be overbearing. Yes, they’ve hurt my feelings. And in the end, they already love these babies so much, what can I say? I am going to try and get back to the place where I didn’t actively hate them and try to just remember that they’re excited and happy. And if and when they step over the line, it’s time for me to open my mouth rather than sit quietly, waiting for my chance to flip out on Cody. These are our children, and if they want to be a part of their lives, they are going to have to accept how we want to raise them, whether they like it or not. As my lovely friend said to me, “You hold all the chips, my dear. Don’t forget that they’re only spectators in this. It’s about you, Cody, and those babies. Fuck everyone else”. Best advise I’ve been given!

Best Moment of My Life:
This morning, I was wide awake from 3AM until Cody was getting up to go to work around 4AM. He rolled over and wanted to snuggle me before I left, showing that he knows how hard it’s been on me to have no one to talk to all day, and only seeing him a few hours a night. I laid on my back and put Cody’s hand on my tummy so he could feel Apple kicking. Cody was so sleepy, but he was laughing at the kicks, even going “Ouch, that was a big one!” when she got me good and hard. It was then that I realized this was what I was waiting for, this is what I wanted to give my husband. There’s more to come, but sitting there with him, in bed in the dark, feeling babies kicking: it was the best moment of my life.


I’ve Been Calmed – FOR NOW.

First of all, thank you all so much for your kindness yesterday!

The short of it: 
Apple and Banana are FINE.

The long of it: 
When Cody came home, I cried a little more and then went into Mommy Mode.  I asked my husband to call the hospital that is closer to us, thinking that they could hook me up to some monitors, ease my mind, and send me on my way in time for dinner at a reasonable hour.  After getting the run around for a while, Cody was told BY A NURSE that she couldn’t “refuse” to treat us, but that she would strongly suggest that we go to Sunnybrook (the hospital where I’ll eventually deliver) since “If something were to happen, you’d need to go there anyway.”  Folks, you know how much I love Canada.  You know I love having free health care.  But with free health care, there are some disadvantages.  The wait times are long, the staff are over-worked and irritated.  Apparently they can also just choose to not really want you in their hospital as well.  Cody thought that we could still go to the smaller hospital, but I decided that going to Sunnybrook an hour away was best.  They didn’t want me at the smaller hospital, which made me concerned that if I did go there I wouldn’t receive the best care anyway.

Once we got to Sunnybrook, wouldn’t you know it:  Banana gives me a big kick to the ribs.  One I’d been waiting for the entire day.  Still, just because she gave me one good kick it didn’t change the fact that for three days she wasn’t as active as normal.  And I did not drive an hour into Toronto just to turn around and go back.  Once inside Labor and Delivery triage, we waited about 15 minutes for a bed.  The nurse took all of the information and reassured me that Sunnybrook is where I always want to go when I’m worried.  He also reassured me that kick counting for twins is not really possible and very tricky.  Steven was so nice and when I was about to cry after uttering the words “I don’t know what I’m doing.  I don’t know anything”, he gave me a smile and said it was all ok and that I did the right thing by coming in. As I am writing this right now, I can’t tell you how grateful I was to have this nurse. He was amazing. It makes me tear up all over again.

After getting into a gown and laying on what had to be the most uncomfortable hospital bed for 25 minutes, I realized it was staff change over time. Another nurse, Andrea, came in. She was so nice! She got me hooked up to two Dopplers, which was no easy task. My babies hate the Doppler. Then we put the contraction monitor on, which pissed the babies off a little more. I was then handed a button and told to press it when I felt Banana move or when someone moved but I didn’t know who it was. I was hooked up for about an hour, and, of course, Banana went ape shit. I didn’t feel this kid all day long, but once we’re in the presence of medical professionals, she’s going to put on a show. Little brat! We kept losing Apple on the Doppler – she was being very active and really didn’t want to be monitored. She knew Banana was in trouble, not her! Eventually, Doctor Julie came and gave me an ultrasound. The babies had calmed down quite a bit, but were still giving her movement on screen. I told her that it’d been a few hours since I’d eaten and the good doc told me that this can put them to sleep. If I ever wonder what they’re up to, she wants me to eat and wait to see what they start doing. Doctor Julie said that they want to see two movements in a half an hour, but they gave three movements, minimum, in about 2 minutes. Both little chickens had the hiccups, and my Cody was so happy to be able to see them on camera again (he misses a lot of the ultrasounds because of work). Once again, we didn’t see their faces, but their butts are pretty adorable anyway! Their fluids are good, their placentas are good (they confirmed that this is also blocking a lot of the movement I could have been missing), their hearts are good.

So what happened? Why wasn’t Banana moving as much? Well, my child decided that she wanted to move DOWN. Her head was just under my belly button before, but last night we saw her head sitting pretty much right on top of my cervix, so moved down a good 4-6 inches from before. All of the movements I was feeling yesterday in my lower abdomen were her! Since she moved so much lower, her legs weren’t sitting up in my ribs anymore, they were more to the middle. I WAS feeling her, just in completely different spots and I didn’t know it.

Go figure.

Before being released, Doctor Julie told me that if I am ever worried to not hesitate and to just come in for monitoring. They don’t mind, they’re happy to see me, they’re happy to make sure my little babies are ok. I was so impressed with the staff and I can tell you that I know I made the right decision to get the best doctor there and to ultimately deliver there. Not once did I feel like anyone thought I was overreacting or taking up a bed that someone else could have been using.

Today, my little Banana is kicking up a storm. She’s moved again (I assume), because my ribs are getting a beating. Apple is still breech (as of last night), but likes to give Mama punches and kicks at the same time, through the entire left side of my uterus.

I am calm today. I hope to be calm tomorrow. But I have to start dyeing my hair cause these kids are giving me more white hairs with every passing hour.

Thank you again, my friends. I really appreciate you sticking with me and giving me encouragement during my rough days!

with a LOT of love,


PS – I missed the memo on maternity leggings. I will no longer be wearing any other type of pants during this pregnancy! Why are these so comfy!?

Calm Me Down 

I’m currently laying in bed, crying for the…. 5th? time in 7 days.  Not cause of my husband or in-laws, but because my Banana has decided she doesn’t want to move around much.

Turns out you can be 26 weeks pregnant, no complications (knock on wood) and still end up worrying constantly.

For three days now, Banana has been much less active than usual.  Normally, I get kicks to my ribs regularly during the day.  These last couple of days, though, I have to beg her to give me ANYTHING.  A couple big ones, rarely, but when I’m laying down, I can feel her wiggles, a few thumps, and some tickles.  I did the kick counts, and I easily get 15 in under 10 minutes.  The problem is that they are coming down right in the middle, so I don’t know who’s doing them!  I lay on my sides and they both move.  My doppler tells me their hearts are steady.  It’s just not what has be “normal” for Banana and I’m freaked out.  

Maybe Banana went from head down to breech?  

Ugh, if it was one day of this, I could deal with it.  But three?  Too long.

I called the hospital and was told to come in if I was concerned.  Unfortunately, Cody has our car and while he has decided to come home early, it still takes 2 hours because we opted to move to the middle of fucking nowhere.  It will then take another hour to drive to the hospital.  Again, if it hadn’t been three days if this, I would have waited until next Tuesday to see my OBGYN.  That’s too far away, though.

Give me strength, Lord.  I need to last another 8 weeks (minimum), at which point I will start worrying about the number of poops they have, how much they eat, and fevers.

I’m going to lose all of my hair.


Best Wife Ever?

Cody and I celebrate EVERYTHING. Our dating anniversary (today), our engagement anniversary (February 12th), our wedding anniversary (October 2nd). We do birthdays, holidays, and some stuff in between! We love to have a reason to go out, have dinner, and just be together. I don’t know if there were ever any other two people made more for each other than Cody and I.

I love presents. I love giving them maybe slightly more than receiving them, but I still love ripping open wrapping paper or a box and seeing what’s inside. To this day, Christmas morning is one of the most exciting times of year for me.

Cody like gifts as well, but he prefers homemade gifts. He likes the funny things I come up with, like my idea of writing things like “I Could Do Worse” on a balloon and giving it to him. More than that, he loves when I make him baked goods. Cookies, cakes, breads. He loves it all!

So, my friends, that it why I decided to make him brownies today. It’s our anniversary – we’ve been together for 8 whole years now! Yes, it falls on April Fool’s Day (that’s kind of telling, isn’t it?), but that’s pretty much because we don’t really know the day we started dating. It was at the end of March sometimes, so we just rounded up to April 1st. Easy peasy.

Anyway, I cannot wait to give him these brownies!  Um, I mean “Brown E’s”.

Because more than baked goods, Cody loves a good joke.

Happy Wednesday, people.