I was woken up by my lovely husband 17-ish hours ago because he was leaving for work. I’d been awake for a couple of hours and just fallen asleep, so I was instantly annoyed when he lamely rolled over to the side while “finding” his cell phone to turn off the alarm…3 minutes later. I just don’t understand – how do you not know where the stupid thing is? You sleep in the same spot every night. You wake up at the same time every morning. The phone is always on the night stand. It lights up AND rings as loud as possible. HOW CAN YOU NOT FIND IT IN LESS THAN 20 SECONDS? So while he’s messing around with that, I get up and pee (again), take my morning prenatal vitamin, and hop back into bed, hoping that I’m not too awake (again). Oh, my dear Cody. He decides it is time to breathe his dragon breath into my face while giving me the longest goodbye in the history of our relationship. At this time in the morning, I figure he’s got it coming, and lay into him.
Around 12 hours ago, I got up for the day. I was so excited to go downstairs and eat my leftover piece of pizza, but oh no! Where is the precious slice? The bacon! The mushrooms! The cheese! I search around and it’s not in the fridge. It’s not in the microwave (where it was last seen). I text Cody.
B: Why would you throw my pizza out??????????
C: It was in the microwave all night.
B: OMG, I’m so annoyed right now.
C: Sorry, I didn’t think it would be good anymore.
B: Well at least YOU got to enjoy all of your pizza yesterday.
C: I forgot it was in there or I would have wrapped it up for you yesterday.
B: And here we are.
I later came to my senses (mostly). In all fairness, it would not have been good to eat the pizza that was left out overnight.
C: I hope your day improves. I know it didn’t start out the best.
B: I’ll be fine. I was just disappointed.
C: Wow, you’re already working on your parenting skills.
B: Well, I was mad at first. Then I just got disappointed that I didn’t get to enjoy my slice of pizza like you did.
C: I understand. Waking up to pizza breakfast then not having any pizza would disappoint me.
B: You wait. I’m going to be home with A and B all the time… I’m going to make them learn how to upset YOU with food.
About 3.5 hours ago, my husband came home from work. I was pleasant, very happy to see him. Very grateful he made supper.
And 25-ish minutes ago, I stormed out of the room and up the stairs (no easy task these days) because I “cannot talk to” him. WHY? Well, in mentioning to him that I was sorry for our exchange this morning, Cody decides this is the time to tell me that he was annoyed with me last night because I had a coughing fit. I don’t know why, but it bothers me! I was making sure the cat didn’t bother him, and because of this, Asi-Cat fell asleep on my pillow. Apparently, I am a heavy breather and I inhaled a mouth full of fur. This, of course, caused me to almost die from coughing! Do you think this ass face could understand I was not in control? That I was coughing because I was trying to keep the cat away from HIM? How can he be mad at me for COUGHING? In addition to not being able to breathe, my round ligaments went into to overdrive and the cat got all riled up again. But of course, he should be mad at me.
You can’t see me, but I’m rolling my eyes. HARD.
Ugh, I love him and want to strangle him at the same time.
PS – I am sure this annoyance will pass in about 39 seconds. Just in time for another emotion to take control of the roller coaster. Fun times.