I like to mess with my husband.
On Monday, we had repair guys from our home builder come in and, obviously, repair some issues with our floors. In order to do this, we had to move everything out of our bedroom and into the other rooms temporarily. When they left and before we moved anything back into the room, I suggested that we paint our “feature” wall. He was up for it, so off to Home Depot we went. We bought a neutral, brownish color and started painting the wall. When the feature wall was complete, I looked at the other walls and noticed that they were more yellow than cream and it clashed with the new color. Well, not really clashed, but reminded me of these chocolate and banana lollipops I used to get when I was a kid.
This color combo was not what I had in mind, so I told Cody we had to paint all of the walls. When we were just about finished (one wall left to go), I told Cody I hated it. He gave me a fake “Ha. Ha. Verrrrry funny, peep” and I looked at him with the straightest face I could manage. “No, seriously. It’s too dark,” I replied. He looked horrified and I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I said I was joking and he told me it was ok, but to make a decision before the second coat went on.
Turns out, I love the color. I’ll post a before and after picture when we’re finished putting everything back.
Last night, I was on Pinterest and sure enough, came across something I knew Cody would hate:
B: Oooh, look! Cauliflower cheese sticks!
C: Fuck. Off.
B: They actually look kind of good. I’m just going to make them for you and not tell you. You’ll probably love them.
C: Yeah, ok. (with a look of horror that I might actually do it)
B: Actually, you’ll come home and I’ll say “Look! I made cheese sticks!” and you’ll say “No you f-ing didn’t. We’re on a diet.”
C: (Looking relieved and as if HE came to that conclusion) It’s gross. I mean, come on. You have to work so hard to fake good food? Congratulations. You literally just made cheese covered cauliflower. Not cheese sticks.
B: They probably have garlic butter on them. Wait! I should make them for our party next week.
C: Yeah! And then we can never have people come over again!
If you don’t know, I love his cauliflower rants. They are hilarious.
I also find any opportunity to scare my husband. Whether it’s forcing him to watch a scary movie (we’re going to see Annabelle soon!), jumping out when he’s not expecting it, or telling him I hear weird noises, I LOVE IT. I also hide on him. I can twist myself into weird positions which make it easy to hide in certain spots. In our condo, I squeezed between our washing machine and the wall and it took Cody forever to find me. My best spot in the house was fitting myself in our linen closet, under the bottom shelf – very awkward and uncomfortable. Why do I do this? Well, I hide when Cody doesn’t expect it. He will then realize I’m “missing” and I’ll hear his sad voice call out my name. When I don’t answer, you hear him say “Aww, man……” in an ever more distraught voice – he knows the game is on. He will try to wait me out and not look for me, but I’m determined. When Cody finally starts the search, he brings a broomstick. Instead of opening shower curtains, he pulls them to the side with the broom. He turns on each and every light. Instead of opening doors like a normal person, he flings them open super fast and jumps to the side. He hates it and I love every second of him hating it.
I think I just realized I’m an evil wife.
I love my husband and I love being able to mess with him.