After Cody and I left the fertility clinic, I dropped him off at work. Wouldn’t you know it, his Dad is outside and spots us. Perfect.
We make some small talk and his Dad says to me “Come and visit me! You never come over. Come for a BBQ, I have some work for Cody to do.” Cody did tell me about this and I was holding steady with my boycott.
I didn’t tell you about the boycott, did I? Well, after my miscarriage I decided that I just cannot bear to be around Cody’s family. Mostly his extended family, but I didn’t really want to go to many of the immediate family get-togethers either. I have tried really hard over the years to get to know his family and they don’t show any interest in doing the same, so I give up. When I miscarried I kept waiting to hear from my mother-in-law, and it never happened. I was shocked because she was so happy we were expecting, so it really hurt that she didn’t care that I was suffering. So I explained to Cody that I was going to boycott most family get-togethers for minimum 1 year. I told him I needed the break and that I was doing this for me.
However… last night I changed my tune. I told Cody that we could go to the BBQ – but he had to explain to his parents that I was likely going to be having an IUI that day and I can’t guarantee we’ll actually be showing up. Cody was on board and told me that he was going to tell his parents that the IUI’s are hard on the system, so the BBQ would have to be a quiet get-together. I was so happy that he really seemed to understand my feelings so well and would be able to relay them to the outlaws. I also told Cody that instead of being defensive and pushing his immediate family away, I’ll try again. ONE LAST TIME. I’m actually looking forward to seeing how this turns out.
Ok, so I’m standing there in a public parking lot, looking like shit, and my father-in-law asks me what I’m up to after I leave. I told him that it’s my day off so I was on my way back home. He says “Oh, and you drove Cody all the way to work?” and I reply with “Well, we went to the fertility clinic this morning.” His reaction was….. good-ish? He asked how things were going and I said something about it being alright, but slow. My father-in-law then said “That’s ok. It will all be good. I’ll have grandkids and a train set and everything will be ok.” I’m not entirely sure how I feel about the exact words, but the thought was there. And that’s what I do appreciate. I hope that his concern for me can be extended to his wife and daughters over the weekend.
Maybe there’s hope for us yet.
So, random side note #1 – I’m paranoid. One of my sister-in-laws is more of the writer type. I got it in my head that she’s on WordPress and she’s somehow going to find my blog and know it’s me. I (obviously) don’t use my name or even my husband’s real name – but I posted photos. In my paranoia, I’ve made this post private. If you want to read it, please comment and I’ll send you the password 🙂
Random side note #2 – I’m trying to train my cats. They already know some tricks. Well, the big one does; the little one is still too unfocused. What I’m trying to do is try and get them used to wearing a harness so that when we finally get our backyard, I can put them on leashes when we’re outside. Be honest – on a scale of 1 to 10 of weirdness (1 being “not that weird” and 10 being “you’re taking cat-lady to a whole other level”), where does this sit?
In case I don’t post over the long weekend, I just want to remind everyone to stay safe and have fun! If you’re going camping – I’m super jealous.