Can’t We Just Eat Spaghetti Instead of Spaghetti Squash?

My husband has a love-hate relationship with Pinterest.  He likes to look at the stuff I’m scrolling through, but he hates a lot of the stuff that my friends pin because they’re “skinny” recipes.  I’ll admit – there are times when I’ll open Pinterest knowing his curiosity will get the best of him and I’ll inevitably have a good laugh over his rage.

Case and point:

The recipe:  CROCK-POT Paleo Spaghetti Squash & Meatballs

The reaction:  “Oh yeah, that’s the stuff that’s supposed to taste like spaghetti.  If you have your eyes closed… and you’re tripping on acid.”

 

…Guess I won’t be making this anytime soon….

beanie

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Gosh – Thank you! I’d like to thank Cody, and my Dad… Oh, and of course God…

Liebster nomination?!  Aww shucks.

Seriously though – I was so crabby earlier and when Jo over at Life, Love, and my version of Motherhood nominated me, it was an instant mood changer.  So you know what that means?  I need to be nominated for awards more often.  

The Liebster Award is awarded to a blogger by other bloggers. It means a lot to know that there was even one reader who thought of me when receiving their own nomination.  I really have been so blessed to be able to interact and “meet” some of you.  You’re all amazing – and great writers.

Here are the rules:

1. Link back to the blogger who gave you the award.

2. Answer the questions designated by the blogger who nominated you.

3. List 11 random facts about yourself.

4. Nominate 3-5 other bloggers with less than 200 followers.

5. Make up a set of questions for the nominated bloggers to answer.

 

Alright!  So here are the questions I am supposed to answer:

1.  Why did you start to blog?

  • Well, I initially started my blog “Dumping My Diabetes”.  It was a way to try and motivated myself to lose weight and beat my diabetes.  However in January 2013, I learned that I was about to embark on a very long, rough journey into the world of infertility and trying to make a mini-me.  Anyway, it turned out that writing was more helpful then I thought it would ever be, so I continued.

2. What country are you from?

  • OH, CANADA!  (Please go to youtube, search “Oh, Canada” by Classified.  Pretty much all you need to know about this amazing country I call home.)

3.  What is your favorite travel destination?

  • Home.  I come from a very small, very isolated town in Northern Ontario.  My dad and step-momma still live there, so any chance I can get to go up and see them, it’s a good time.  Also, I’ve travelled to Iceland this year and I would totally go back.  That being said, I don’t have many places to compare to…

4.  What is your favorite quote or song?

  • My favorite songs change all the time.  My wedding song was “Feeling Good” by Micheal Buble. 

5.  Cheddar or Colby Jack?  Yes it matters! Hahaha

  • I’ve never had Colby…  but I like the name!  I love old cheddar, though.

7.  What is the most spontaneous thing you have ever done?

  • My mispelled “Best Freind” tattoo.  Oh boy………  

8.  Favorite Movie?

  • Footloose!!!!!!  The original, not the shitty remake.

9.  Most prized possession?

  • I have a bin full of things I absolutely cannot part with.  Some of those things include:  my first Barbie doll that my aunt bought me (she passed away this year, so this is particularly dear to me now); my journals; a shadow box containing photos and a paw print of my first cat, MOO; my Bumble’s first (and only) ultrasound photo.

10.  Who do you admire most?

  • First, my Daddy.  Long story short, my crazy ass mother effectively kidnapped my brother and I when I was about 3.  She decided that she didn’t want us, but really didn’t want my dad to have custody, so she put us in foster care.  My dad then worked hard to gain custody of us.  It wasn’t easy, but he didn’t give up.  He’s an amazing person.
  • Second, my husband.  He is funny, smart, handsome, dedicated.  He is one of the best people I know.

11.  What was the last movie you saw?

  • In theatres:  300: Rise of the Empire (don’t waste your time).  At home:  Grown Ups 2 (didn’t finish it, so it doesn’t count.  Again, don’t waste your time).  Last movie that we finished at home:  We’re the Millers

11 random facts about moi:

1.  I once got a round brush stuck in my hair.  I have really curly hair and didn’t know how to use a round brush on it – I ended up with half of the hairs going over the brush and half going under… and managed to roll it all the way to my scalp.  My dad and step-momma then took a few hours working the brush out of my hair because I was screaming bloody murder every time they said they needed to cut it.  Once it was out, I didn’t touch a round brush until I was working in a hair salon.

2.  I have an addiction to diet pepsi.  However, since I’m trying to have a baby, I instead drink caffeine free diet pepsi…. it’s NOT the same.

3.  My favorite book is “Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood” by Rebecca Wells.

4.  I am a woman who loves to have painted nails.  I do them myself and own over 100 bottles of nail polish.  Most of them are different shades of pink.

5.  When I was (briefly) pregnant, I could not stand the smell of baking bread.  Subway (the restaurant), specifically.

6.  I have a goal to swim in all of the Great Lakes.  I only have Lake Michigan and Lake Superior to go!  I’d make the same goal, but apply it to oceans… but at least one of them is completely unreachable to me (Here’s looking at you, Indian Ocean).

7.  I sleep an average 9 hours (sometimes more) a night.

8.  I hate working.  I know, I know – who doesn’t?  I hate it because my ultimate purpose to life is to raise babies and stay home with them until they’re in school.  Waiting for this to happen frustrates me!  And no – I do not believe ALL women should stay home – I want to stay home.  There is a difference between wanting to do something and being forced to do something.

9.  I wanted to break up with Cody after the first few dates.  My friend Sadie told me I was stupid if I did because he was a good guy and I was being a bitch (pretty close to the actual wording haha).  Over time, he grew on me and I decided to see where it would go… and here we are!

10.  I hate drinking milk.  However, after eating ice cream, I always want to have a glass of milk.

11.  I have 3 tattoos (upper back: pink water lily; left foot: “Best Freind” tattoo; right foot: butterflies with awareness ribbons for bodies… one is purple for Epilepsy and the other is grey for diabetes) and 5 piercings (2 in each ear, one in my nose).  I’d definitely get more tattoos, but never another piercing.  Piercings hurt waaaaay more than a tattoo.

 

My nominations are:

  • Reinventing Kristen – A fellow Canadian navigating a fertility journey.
  • Spunky Chunk – She’s so funny.  I’m always waiting for a new post.
  • Gayby Project – Another couple on the path to creating a little one.  Also, new parents to the cutest little puppy.
  • Diary of a Fat Girl – Such an inspiration!  

 

My questions:

1.  Have you ever eaten poutine?  If not, do you know what it is?

2.  Speaking of food, what is the most random/weird thing you’ve ever tried?

3.  How did you pick your blog name?

4.  Why did you start blogging?

5.  What is your guilty pleasure?

6.  What is your most prized possession?

7.  What one thing annoys you the most in your partner/best friend/family member (pick one, I guess.)?

8.  Do you prefer a side soup, or a side salad?

9.  What is your favorite book or, if easier, who is your favorite author?

10.  Describe your perfect vacation.

 

Thanks again for the nomination, Jo.  You’re an inspiration and I’m so happy to have gotten to know you through your amazing blog.

 

beanie

Progesterone Problems

Before the crack of dawn yesterday, I was sitting in a small room having my blood drawn.  No meetings with the ultrasound tech or wand; no meeting with the doctor.  I drove an hour and half EACH WAY for one simple vial of blood.  The only thing being tested yesterday morning was my progesterone level.

I came home and went for a nap.  My brother calling me twice back to back woke me up.  After the really frustrating conversation with him, I went downstairs and had a voicemail on our house phone. It was the clinic:  Up those bad boy suppositories to 4, dear Beanie.  I called the clinic back and Ella told me that my level was 31 or 32 and they wanted it higher.  I asked her what the level should be and she said over 50.  Awesome.  I then made a comment about how I was sure that would mean that even if I had gotten pregnant this cycle (jury is still out for another week), it probably wouldn’t be viable.  After all, my progesterone problems were a possible cause of my miscarriage in December.  Ella said that no, we could still fix it, but it was a little low.  Not baaaaad, just lower than they’d like.  My memory tells me that this is the exact way my pregnancy started out.  I had low progesterone and needed to up the suppositories to 4.  I went back for a check and then needed the PIO shots added in as well since my levels were still too low.  After an eternity of getting needles in the ass, my levels went up enough that I could reduce the frequency of the shots and number of suppositories.  I miscarried a few days later.

I’m so tired of this stuff.  I’m trying everything to help my progesterone naturally and still it hasn’t made a difference.  I am then taking more suppositories in one cycle than I ever thought I’d have in my entire life, and it isn’t helping.  If my progesterone is so f-ing low, shouldn’t we be looking at WHY?  Maybe the suppositories are not the way for me and maybe just doing the PIO shots would be better (if more painful)?  I just don’t get it.  Every single cycle I have low progesterone.  Every single cycle adjustments are made.  Every single cycle I’m left frustrated and bewildered at this ongoing problem.  How are we not fixing the issue before it becomes a problem… again??

This is the first cycle back to TTC (again).  I don’t know if I’m frustrated or just intolerant of bullshit, but I feel like the doctor managing my file this time around doesn’t give a shit and really could care less about whether I actually conceive or not.  She waltzes in late every morning, talks about her personal life more than the case in front of her, has no opinion about anything medically related to my cycle, doesn’t volunteer information, and doesn’t ask if we have questions.  When I walked in on CD3, she wanted me to jump back into injectables and an IUI.  When I said I’d prefer to ease back into things with Femara and timed intercourse, she said fine and then didn’t give two shits after that.  Then the day of my trigger, she actually asked me if we were doing an IUI or timed intercourse….  Uh, I see my chart sitting in front of you… maybe you could take a look at that bad boy?

Over it.

 

beanie

My Theme Song

Music is good for the soul!

I heard this song one night when Cody and I were driving around.  I instantly fell in love and have listened to it non-stop since.

Normally I wouldn’t post a video link and/or lyrics – but this song is special.  Seriously.  It spoke to me!  I relate to these lyrics in a way I haven’t with any other song.  Ms. Christina Perri looked into my soul, wrote a song about my feelings and then gave it to the world.  I feel like screaming “I’m only human!” during every fertility treatment, every visit with Cody’s family, with every BFN.   I feel like this song could by my theme song.  It could be a theme song for anyone struggling with infertility!

I present to you:  “Human” by Christina Perri

Click here for the video.

Here are the lyrics:

[Verse 1]

I can hold my breath
I can bite my tongue
I can stay awake for days
If that’s what you want
Be your number one
I can fake a smile
I can force a laugh
I can dance and play the part
If that’s what you ask
Give you all I am

I can do it
I can do it
I can do it

[Chorus]
But I’m only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I’m only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
I’m only human, yeah


[Verse 2]
I can turn it on
Be a good machine
I can hold the weight of worlds
If that’s what you need
Be your everything

I can do it
I can do it
I’ll get through it

[Chorus]
But I’m only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I’m only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
I’m only human, yeah

[Bridge]
I’m only human
I’m only human
Just a little human

I can take so much
Until I’ve had enough

[Chorus]
‘Cause I’m only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I’m only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
‘Cause I’m only human, yeah

I Love My Country!

We’re doing it again, folks.  First Quebec… then Manitoba..now Ontario!  We’re helping Canadians achieve their life goals!  If you have a chance, please read this article.

I am so blessed to live where I live.  I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – I LOVE CANADA!!!

With a whole lotta Canadian pride,

 

beanie

My Date

I didn’t really dedicate enough of my last post to Cody and my anniversary (is that the correct grammar?  Again – super tired.  4:45AM).

We did have a fabulous night.  Kept with tradition and went to the same restaurant we went to on our first date.  We had the same dishes and even the same dessert.

All of that is great, but what I really want to do is share a conversation between the two of us that night:


Beanie: Are we dining and dashing? (It was taking a while for the machine to approve the transaction)
Cody   : HAHAHAHA. We’re not “dashers”. We’re “trot”, at best.

…….. 5 minutes later, he continues.

Cody   : For us to dine and ditch, we’d need some things. Roach fogger, masks, marbles, quart of motor oil. The marbles and the motor oil are for the people behind us. We gotta worry about the hostess.

…….. Literally 45 minutes after dinner, he says:
Cody    : OhmyGod… can you imagine a floor full of motor oil and marbles? {PAUSE}. This is what I do. I’m the idea guy.

 

The man I married, ladies and gents.  He makes me laugh 87 times a day.

 

beanie

 

PS – I am thinking I’m going to have a regular post called “Cody’s Quotes” or something.  Am I the only one who finds him hilarious??

A Little Bit of Everything (and why won’t my “f” key work without me having to mash it??)

Updates!

So Cody and I celebrated 7 years of knowing each other/dating on April 1st.  It was a good day – but I ended up with my period.  Good and bad, in a way.  Good because it meant we could move forward with trying to make a(nother) baby.  Not good cause, well, it was our anniversary.  And I had my period.

We headed off to the clinic on CD3.  Instead of jumping into another IUI attempt, we opted to give’r a go the old fashioned way: Femara, Ovidrel, timed intercourse.  I’m on CD10 now, have 3 follicles (one dominant) and will be triggering either Monday or Tuesday.

Toby went back for his second (and last!) set of shots.  He took ’em like a champ!  He’s growing so fast (he gained 2 pounds in 3 weeks!).  His personality is growing too – he’s a little snuggle bug.  Unfortunately for us, he decides he needs to snuggle at 2AM.  Preparation for a baby, as was hinted to me by my fav nurse, Ella, today.

I found myself back in the Urgent Care Center today.  My light-headedness has returned (not the same thing as the super intense vertigo I had initially experienced).  My sinuses are angry.  My ear hurts and has a ringing in it.  And still, there’s no real answer from these people.  I just want to be issued some antibiotics so I can see if that will help anything.  But the clinic has some weird policy about not giving antibiotics or something.  So instead, I’m told to do the Epley manoeuvre (which worked – until a few days ago), try the Serc meds again, test my blood sugar, and have blood work completed.  No… nothing I haven’t already done.  In another opinion, my boss (who is a Pharmacist and studying Chinese medicine/acupuncture) seems to think I’m blood deficient.  Having a full blood work panel would show if this is accurate or not.  I also finally got a prescription for the “Golden Star” of prenatal vitamins and will be starting them soon.  If I am deficient in anything, I assume these vitamins would help me feel better?

I guess that’s it for now.  I’m super tired from being kept awake from my “cat-baby” and then having to get up at 4:45AM to go to the clinic.  Hope all of this makes some sort of sense!

 

with a dizzy smile,

 

beanie

 

I LIED!  Have you all heard that the Backstreet Boys and Spice Girls are in talks of doing a tour together?!  Please please please please please make this happen, Concert-Powers-That-Be!