Bumble is what we named our baby.  We found out of December 5th that we were pregnant.  We had confirmation of our pregnancy on December 6th.  We had our first ultrasound on December 20th.  We told my husband’s parents that we were expecting on December 26th.  And 25 days after discovering this miracle and experiencing the most joy we’ve ever had, we lost Bumble on December 30th.

This is my last post.  Maybe forever, maybe just for a long, long time.  Worpress seems to be a jinx for me.  Everytime I’ve written something here, I’ve encountered issues.  I’ve stopped following pretty much every blog.  If it has to do with babies, pregnancies, or your struggle – I can’t read it.  I literally have had anxiety issues logging on to WordPress in fear of reading good news by accident.  I don’t feel the need to have comments posted to this entry – please don’t bother.  I can’t say that I’ll reply.  And so help me God if you mention babies.  I cannot handle it.  Please respect that it is not the time or place to make a comment about your pregnancy or your friends pregnancy and how they moved on and were happy, healthy, and A-OK after miscarriage.  I don’t give a fuck!

Just when I thought 2013 would be the best year, it magically turned into hell.

The only thing worse than getting your positive test is having confirmation of that positive and seeing your baby starting to grow, and then it being ripped away in blood and tissue, only to be flushed down the toilet.

6 thoughts on “Bumble

  1. I thought I was angry enough with my experience alone but I am even angrier now because I can’t and just don’t understand for you. I know you may not see this and I know you said you don’t want to hear from anyone but from one Beanie to another its just heartbreaking and I want you to know that no matter what, I am thinking of you…

    1. Thanks so much! I don’t know what else to say. IIt sucks, I’m sad, and very very confused. I am always happy to hear from you, J – and I think of you often.

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