Fun While It Lasted

I am now officially in the “I’m NOT pregnant” belief camp.

I made it through the cramps.  I believed my uterus was stretching.  I made it though the breast tenderness.  Very typical pregnancy symptom.  Tired, mood swings, this weird feeling of being full and hungry at the same time.  Even a cold sore!  I made it through all of them believing that this was the cycle.

Until gut rot showed up.  I’ve mentioned this before, but this is a period indicator for me.  Granted, I’ve never been pregnant so it’s entirely possible that it could also be a symptom of having a human growing in me, but it’s unlikely.  This burning, bloated feeling most likely means I’m done for this month.

And it’s awful.  I’m so down about it.  I went to Micheal’s (craft store) with Cody and as we were leaving, I told him that I was sure he’d of reconsidered marrying me if he knew I couldn’t have babies.  And then I bawled the entire drive home.

I feel bad for our partners.  They have it worse, in a way.  They’re also waiting during the last two weeks of our cycle(s).  They hope, and wish, and pray just as much as the would-be-baby-carrier does.  And when it crashes and burns to the ground, they have to put their own feelings aside for a bit and comfort us.  Please make sure you acknowledge your partner.  I don’t think I do often enough, and it makes me feel like such an ass.

I don’t officially get to find out if it’s a “yay” or “nay” until Friday.  I still hope for the positive, but I’m definitely prepping for the negative.  Miracles can happen, after all.  They’re just really, really, unlikely.


9 thoughts on “Fun While It Lasted

  1. Don’t give up hope. I got my typical day before AF crampy feeling, went out, drank two glasses of wine bc I was sure I would get my period and by golly if I wasn’t pregnant. I was more surprised than anyone…
    even though I had done the iui so how big of a surprise was it really? We can really trick ourselves into thinking either thing. I still holding out hope for you 😉

    1. Everyone tells me that the AF feeling could be pregnancy. I am having a lot of trouble believing it (but if I’m honest – there is about a 10% belief I could maybeeeeee be preggs – I call those my delusional moments). The cramps are getting worse, my breast tenderness is pretty much gone, and I had gut rot for 4 days straight. It just all points to my period.

      Guess I’ll find out soon……

  2. Don’t give up hope! Hope is defined as a confident and positive expectation of something good to happen. So hope and be confident! Be positive because anything could change at the blink of an eye for the good because hope in God allows the impossible to become possible. My friend was six days late and just knew AF was coming (horrible cramps, bloating, etc) She kept testing negative but then on the sixth day of being late…she had a faint line. By the next day it was darker. She never gave up and she never lost hope even though all signs pointed to the “inevitable”. Prayers to you girlie!! I am believing and hoping with you 🙂

    1. I hope and pray and hope some more. But eventually I think I just need to accept that maybe it’s just not gonna be my month. I do have a small sliver of hope that I will be getting a little plus sign on my test… but right as I wrote that, I was hit with a pretty strong cramp. Ugh. I’ll let you know in a few days!

      1. Yes keep us all updated. Girl I know that God is bigger than any problem’s we faced and Jesus died so that we can have a life of abundance. I know that as long as we put our hope and faith in Him, then He won’t disappoint us. The Bible says that if we put our hope in Him, then He will not disappoint. Psalm 113:9 says, “He settles the barren woman as a happy mother of children. Praise the Lord!” I am soooo believing you will be seeing a positive line one day and I can’t wait to send you a baby shower gift 🙂 hehehehe

      2. My gosh, twin, your are just so sweet. I don’t know how you do it, but you always make me feel better and make me smile! You’re a ray of sunshine 🙂

      3. I’m so glad you smiled 🙂 My email is if you ever need to chat! I do want you to know that I pray for you every day. Every time I visit a blog, read a post, or I am just driving down the street I always say a prayer. I never close out of a blog post until I have prayed. God will never let the devil have the last word as long as we don’t let the devil have the last word. Keep believing! Trust me, because of Jesus you have already won this battle of infertility. hugs!! xoxoxoxo

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