Same Result x 10

And on the 10 cycle, He declared another BFN.

I wish there was more to say about it.  But really, who would care?  You might feel bad for me, or even sad for me, but you don’t know me.  I’m not saying that for a few seconds or minutes you might not care for me… but I’m not egotistical enough to believe that my BFN makes any real difference to anyone reading this.

It is what it is. 

And so this marks the ending of cycle number 10.  It ends IUI try #2.  It ends all of my hope and optimism again for another month.

 

 

With endings come beginnings.  With beginnings come questions and decision making.  Do I want another IUI?  Do I want to try and see if another medication other than Bravelle would work better?  Do I want to talk to my in-laws openly and honestly about what is happening?  Do I want to look into private adoption?  Do I want to just enjoy my husband, our life together, our home, the holidays, our families, my birthday, a vacation?

The answer:  I Have No Fucking Clue.

 

beanie

 

I do care about you all.  I appreciate all of the comments you leave me even when I’m too lazy to reply.  I know I sound harsh in this post, but who better to understand than you guys?  While I don’t think I’m interesting enough to be a topic of discussion, please note that I’ve mentioned each and every blogger I follow to my husband.  We think about you and hope you’re all doing well.  xo 

3 thoughts on “Same Result x 10

  1. I had a complete meltdown after my second failed cycle. The wonderful thing about iui is the sperm have so much less to travel. And I know how hard it is every time you get a bfn. Hang in there (easier said than done).

    1. Thanks so much 🙂

      It is easier said than done. If I’d only done IUI and this wasn’t my TENTH cycle (only 2 IUI’s though…), maybe I’d still be patient. I don’t know. I’m sure I’ll keep moving forward, but today sucks!!

  2. Sorry to hear the latest, I can honestly say I know how you feel. Eat, sleep and cry as much as you need to and then pick yourself up and figure out what’s next for you and the hubby. Thinking of you, toots!

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